This chapter details the experiences author had while attempting to obtain medical and psychological help for her children while living in a rural area. This chapter, per the author's request, addresses childhood trauma and barriers that need to be broken down so that emotional healing can begin. This submission is personal, and real occurrences. Rural areas generally have less resources available and because rural areas are sometimes remote, financial resources may not be available for a parent or caregiver to travel to obtain the needed help. Rural towns are normally condensed. This means that there is less privacy, and more ways for perpetrators to work a system of abuse within the schools, community, and churches in order to continue “getting to” the victim-- the child, or in this submission, child and parent. Healing from trauma can only begin when the barriers are recognized, broken down, and eliminated.
TopMy Story
The first 17 years of parenting were easy. Our home was joyful in Minnesota, where the first nine of my children resided with their father and me. We had a strong sense of community, because we were actively involved in it in many positive ways. We were highly respected among our peers, involved in church and community clubs, and we also had extended family support. We raised animals and a garden, we took meals to new parents, shut ins, and the ill, we produced a home-school newsletter which had subscribers all over, including Canada, New Zealand and England. We often visited residents of a local nursing home, and entertained orphaned children once a week.
So how did all of that goodness come to an end? It all began with an 1,800 mile relocation to the Southwest in 1998. The culture and social shock of the move laid the foundation for the problems and a divorce, remarriage, another baby, surgeries, loss of a home, and another divorce built the framework of the stress and drama of everyday life. Little did I know that there was more yet to come; not so much because of relocating and having “bad things” happen, but because of the men that fathered my children. And not just those men (even though they were the source), but also much misery came by way of the people that were enlisted to help my ex-husbands with their personal vendettas against me and our children.
It is almost unbelievable when I look back on the extent of the misery. In fact, I probably would not believe it, had it not happened to my family and me.
The beginning of the end of our struggles started with our finding a new therapist, after having gone to many others. I thank God every day for the day when she accepted our case. Was it by chance, persistence, or the Hand of God? Probably all of the above. Whatever it was that brought her to us, we will always be thankful that it finally happened after years of unsuccessful attempts at finding help. Without her involvement, we would not be where we are today. It makes me shudder to think what our future would have been like, and what we would be dealing with today.