Disrupting Their Histories: Preservice Teachers' Mathematics Autobiographies as Catalysts for Change

Introduction: Framing The Study

Mathematics anxiety, a feeling of tension, apprehension, or fear that interferes with mathematics performance (Ashcraft, 2002), is a global phenomenon (OECD, 2015). In the United States, approximately 25% of four-year college students and up to 80% of community college students suffer from a moderate to a high degree of mathematics anxiety (Yeager, 2012). College students who major in early childhood and elementary education have among the highest levels of mathematics anxiety among college majors (Hembree, 1990; Kelly & Tomhave, 1985; Malinsky, Ross, Pannells, & McJunkin, 2006), especially the anxiety about teaching mathematics. Teacher mathematics anxiety can impact time spent on mathematics instruction, student mathematics achievement, and student mathematics dispositions (Ganley, Schoen, LaVenia, & Tazaz, 2019). This anxiety can shape their mathematics identities (their mathematics self-concepts) since those who think they are bad at mathematics are more likely to be anxious (Dowker, Sarkar, & Looi, 2016). Mathematics reform in the United States (NCTM, 1989; 2000; 2014; CCSSO, 2010) calls for fundamental changes in content and pedagogy of K-12 mathematics; a considerable amount of teacher change and teacher learning must take place to teach toward reform expectations (Drake, Spillane, & Hufferd-Ackles, 2001), which can contribute to mathematics anxiety.

The publication of the Curriculum and Evaluation Standards for School Mathematics (NCTM, 1989) launched the standards-based movement in the United States. From then until the present day, with additional publications/guidelines from the National Council of Teachers of Mathematics (NCTM 1991; 1995; 2000; 2006; 2014) and the introduction of the Common Core State Standards (CCSSO, 2010), methods of teaching mathematics have been constantly evolving and transforming so that students can be competitive in a global market. There is a greater focus on problem-solving, discussing and explaining their mathematical thinking, and overall, students becoming more actively involved in their own mathematics learning (Drake, 2006). Teachers of mathematics have the job to prepare students not only with career readiness skills, but to simultaneously cultivate their positive dispositions toward the subject (Van de Walle, Karp, & Bay-Williams, 2019). However, standards alone will not realize the goal of high levels of mathematical understanding (NCTM, 2014). It is the teacher who is responsible for teaching toward those standards, helping students realize those standards, and fostering a learning environment which is conducive to doing so. In many instances, reform-oriented practices require teachers to adopt new strategies not just for teaching students mathematics, but for understanding mathematics themselves (Drake, 2006). Becoming a teacher of mathematics now involves a deep knowledge of mathematics, persistence, a productive disposition, readiness for change, willingness to be a team-player, and making the time to be self-aware and reflective (Van de Walle, Karp, & Bay-Williams, 2019). Teachers need to teach about the methods and strategies of doing mathematics, which involve five process standards: problem solving; reasoning and proof; communication; connections; and representation (NCTM, 2000). A considerable amount of teacher change must take place, often out of their comfort zones, to teach using the expectation of reform-oriented methods. Going beyond those comfort zones with all that reform-oriented methods encompass can play a role in their mathematics anxieties, which can shape their mathematics identities. Teachers must embark on a process of re-forming their mathematics identities (Drake, Spillane, & Hufferd-Ackles, 2001). Therefore, it is important to consider affective issues in addition to cognitive issues in mathematics teaching.