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Preventive Emotion Work: How Inequalities Are Reproduced in Parent-LGB Child Relationships

Preventive Emotion Work: How Inequalities Are Reproduced in Parent-LGB Child Relationships

Tyler R. Flockhart (Viterbo University, USA)
Copyright: © 2022 |Pages: 22
DOI: 10.4018/978-1-6684-4128-2.ch001
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Abstract

The contemporary Gay Right's Movement is incomplete. More LGBs are “out” to—and report regular contact with—their parents than 20 years ago. Parent-child relationships, however, are often fraught. Acceptance sometimes comes in the form of “tolerance” and is contingent on LGBs' ability to appear like heterosexuals. In this chapter, the focus is on how LGBs and their parents maintain relationships with each other under these conditions. More specifically, the concept of “preventive emotion work” is developed to demonstrate the relationship management that goes into maintaining parent-child relationships in a context of incomplete acceptance. To conclude, the chapter emphasizes how the use of preventive emotion work—to preserve parent-LGB child relationships—is often invisible and reproduces heterosexism by placing the emotional wellbeing of parents above those of LGB children.
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Background

To date, research has focused primarily on the separate experiences of LGBs and their parents as they navigate “coming out” in a context of incomplete acceptance (Beals & Peplau, 2006; Johnson & Best, 2012; Kaufman & Johnson, 2004). Coming out is something that must be navigated on an ongoing basis (e.g., when a partner is introduced for the first time or when LGBs come out to additional family members). It follows, then, that parents and their LGB children must deal with more than the initial disclosure of sexual identity (e.g., introducing a partner or coming out to other family members). In the present research, the author considers how parents and their LGB children navigate relationships with each other and other family members on an ongoing basis—before, during, and after LGBs come out—in a context where acceptance is often conditional. The findings suggest that much emotion work goes into maintaining these familial relationships. In this chapter, the author argues that LGBs and their parents use emotion work to prevent potential discomfort—on behalf of themselves and each other—before, during, and after LGBs come out. This practice is called preventive emotion work.

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