Most commonly relationship issues are dealt with within a therapeutic framework, which is often appropriate. However, therapy is not always necessary or relevant and it may prevent some people from getting the support they need. This chapter presents pioneering thoughts about the role of coaching in relationship settings, including singles struggling to form or secure a lasting relationship, couples seeking a more satisfying relationship, parents struggling to manage effective relationships with their children, and relationship issues during a midlife crisis. A coaching approach is focused on helping people to identify where the issue lies and to develop strategies to work around it, which can be highly effective in supporting people to achieve many important relationship goals. The chapter begins by setting out the key principles and features of relationship coaching, continues with a summary of key theories particularly relevant to the field, with the remainder of the chapter dedicated to an overview of key applications of relationship coaching combining theory and practice.
TopIntroduction
The desire for close personal relationships is a basic human motive and need (Deci & Ryan, 2002). As Baumeister and Leary (1995 p. 497) note, “human beings have a pervasive drive to form and maintain a least a minimum quantity of lasting, positive and significant interpersonal relationships.” Fulfilling relationships contribute greatly to people’s emotional and mental wellbeing (Deci & Ryan, 2002), whilst poor close relationships impact significantly on life satisfaction, psychological and physical wellbeing (Myers & Deiner, 1995; Schwartzer & Leppin, 1992). Romantic relationships can cause great happiness, such as a deep sense of connection and fulfilment (Hatfield & Rapson, 2002), but they can also be the cause of much sorrow, even depression and homicide (Cupach & Spitzberg, 2011).
Given the scale of the bearing of close personal relationships on a person’s wellbeing (Baumeister & Leary, 1995; Cramer, 1998), it is surprising how little serious attention has been paid to the role of coaching in supporting the flourishing of relationships. While many coaches include relationship coaching among their repertoire of services, it lacks an underpinning of theory and a structured practice. As an aspirational discipline fostering human flourishing, coaching is equipped to support people in pursuit of relationship fulfilment and success. This chapter seeks to promote further investigation into the psychology and practice of relationship coaching.
Most commonly, relationship issues are dealt with within a therapeutic framework, which is quite often most appropriate. However, not always is therapy necessary or relevant and it may put off some people from getting the support they need. This chapter presents pioneering thoughts about the role of coaching in a range of relationship settings, such as singles struggling to form or secure a lasting relationship, couples who feel that their relationship is insufficiently satisfying, parents who struggle to manage effective relationships with their children, and relationship issues during a midlife crisis. A coaching approach is less focused on healing and transformation, and seeks instead to help people identify where the issue lies and develop strategies to work around it. While coaching may not be suited for more intense relationship challenges, it can be highly effective in supporting people to achieve many important relationship goals. The chapter begins by setting out the key principles and features of relationship coaching, continues with a summary of key theories particularly relevant to the field, with the remainder of the chapter dedicated to an overview of key applications of relationship coaching, combining theory and practice.