Faculty Vulnerability: A Restorative Experiential Learning Activity for Academically-Disengaged College Students

Introduction

Vulnerability is my superpower! Through trial and error, I, Dr. Cottrell, have learned that the way in which I develop student learners in a relational context has a greater positive influence on their learning and development than my course curriculum (Adamsom, 2020). Brene Brown (2012), a shame and vulnerability researcher, defines vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure” (p. 34). My decision to be vulnerable with my students stems from nine months of clashing with disengaged students, complaints to my Chair and Dean that I was “too hard,” and crying in my office because I was tired of fighting with students and administrators. I even prayed to God to just give me the students that wanted to learn. To no avail, as I was approaching the end of my first year as an assistant professor in the Spring of 2018, I was desperate to leave academia. However, submitting to my mentor’s wise counsel, I declined an offer for a government position and returned to the University the following year motivated to change my approach to teaching. In desperation to increase student interest and ownership of learning, I embraced vulnerability.

Academic disengagement has generally been viewed as a character flaw, seeing the student as the problem (Chipchase et al., 2017; Trout, 1997). However, based on decades of disengagement research, it is clear that a wide range of factors, both intrinsic (low motivation, psychological distress, inadequate preparation for college) and extrinsic (financial instability, institutional structures and processes, academic staff issues), influence student detachment and disconnection in the academic rigors of higher education. According to Brown (2012), a solution to connect with disengaged students is to take risks and cultivate change and trust by engaging in vulnerability. In fact, Brown argues that the absence of taking risks and trying new things is disengagement. This means that if faculty are not sharing personal stories, experiences, and ideas with student learners, they are missing opportunities to support academic achievement.

Embracing vulnerability emerged for me out of dire need to connect with my students because my efforts to restructure lectures and assignments were not improving overall exam grades as I had hoped. My moment to take a big risk of sacrificing my legitimacy as a university faculty member came in the Spring of 2020 when 71% of students enrolled in a criminal justice course failed the first exam despite my efforts to prepare them well. As a Black woman faculty member with a doctorate degree and teaching predominantly Black students from underserved communities, I realized that it was important for me to share my story of academic failure and success in college. This is supported by Black feminist scholars who acknowledge the courage necessary for transparency in the classroom and the rewards of more meaningful relationships, deeper understanding, and application of theories and concepts by students (Collins, 2000; hooks, 1989; Page, 2020).